I bought the V for Vendetta graphic novel shortly before the movie came out (as evidenced by my printing’s tacky “now a major motion picture” blurb), planning to read it before seeing the movie. I started it initially and didn’t finish it for some reason or another, and skipped out on the movie as well. I had added the movie to my Netflix queue some time ago and bumped it to the top in the past week or so, planning on quickly reading the book before watching the movie. I finished the book yesterday and thoroughly enjoyed it. Like Watchmen, which I read before it, Alan Moore masterfully interweaves subplots left and right, always managing to tie them all together into a coherent, layered and thoughtful narrative. With little time to let the impact of the book really settle, I decided tonight to move ahead with the movie. What a huge mistake. What a huge fucking mistake.

I don’t claim to be an expert in film and thus, filmmaking, but when your work is based on a comic book, to me it would seem that you have minimal work to do, as the medium you’re working with is both visual and narrative. Much of the work has already been done for you. It’s hard to point out exactly where V for Vendetta goes wrong, because there are so many things wrong with it that it’s impossible to lay the blame in one area. At the core, Alan Moore’s writing doesn’t transfer to film very well, at least not the kind of psuedo-intelligent popcorn movie that V turned out to be. It is to be expected when adapting a book into a two-hour movie that a subplot or two may be trimmed for time purposes, but when you trim even a single subplot from V for Vendetta, you not only lose a lot, but you alter the whole meaning and impact of the story. Essentially, those involved have turned the anti-totalitarian story I perceived to be about personal freedom and self-responsibility into a shitty “rah rah, the people will rise” pile of horseshit that only a Hot Topic customer in a Che Guevara t-shirt could love.

I knew something smelled funny less than ten minutes in, when Evey is harassed for breaking curfew, not for attempted prostitution. Had the rest of the movie gone on in a manner even loosely based on the book, I could have overlooked that detail. Unfortunately the film turned into a series of groan-inducing changes, rather mundane cinematography and an ending that would make anyone who’s read the book just shake their head in dismay at what should have ended as a cinematic abortion in the early stages of development.

One huge problem that modern-day “movies with a message” seem to be having is the lack of subtlety. Children of Men (which I liked) suffered from the same problem to a degree. It’s fine up to a point to want to make the events of a film relate to real events of the recent past or present, but when you change major plot points for no other detectable reason other than to preach to the choir, you’ve got problems. In the novel, the fascist government sets up shop after a vaguely referred to war and nuclear attack. In the movie, the St. Mary Virus, supposedly released by terrorists, is responsible for the chaos and ensuing fascist totalitarian government. Towards the end of the movie, V reveals to Finch that the government was responsible for the attacks, a rather blunt and ham-fisted bone toss to the 9/11 ‘Truthers’ who claim that our nation’s largest terrorist attack was an inside job.

After I finish a movie, often I’ll hit up IMDB to see what the user score is and how much I agree or disagree with the populaced at large. I was shocked to find that V for Vendetta currently enjoys an average score of 8.2, with over 120,000 votes, making it IMDB’s 144th movie in their top 250. Oddly enough, this places it right above Children of Men. Baffled, I checked Rotten Tomatoes as well, to find that it has a 72% approval rating there. It boggles the mind. One of the worst movies I’ve ever seen in my lifetime is apparently well-revered by the public as well as the bulk of the critics. I’ve seen some shitty movies in my day, some of which have pandered to their audience pretty heavily, but they did so shamelessly (Ghoulies 3: Ghoulies Go to College, anyone?). Perhaps those involved in making V for Vendetta should take the time to re-read Valerie Page’s notes on integrity, or better yet, the book itself.

I joined Netflix about halfway through February, and while I love it, it does have a downfall: watching what you rent starts to feel like a job. It’s sort of like the cinematic equivalent of a hot dog eating contest: even when you know that you have no chance of winning, you feel like you have to get the most out of the situation. For instance, I recently rented an entire TV series (the BBC’s Bottom) that took me a couple of days to get through. While the series was fantastic for the most part, I couldn’t help but think to myself “I should watch the rest of the episodes tonight so I can send it back tomorrow and get something else.” Not a problem with Netflix, just my own personal sort of neurosis.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen!  Well, maybe fallen is too strong.  Oh, how the mighty are slummin’.  Saw these two stinkers over the weekend…

Let’s Go To Prison

On the surface, Let’s Go To Prison has enough great ingredients to make what should have been a great comedy. You’ve got Will Arnett, one of the highlights of the late Arrested Development, Bob Odenkirk of TV’s Mr. Show with Bob & David starring and directing, as well as your typical ‘fish out of water’ prison setting. Unfortunately, despite the relatively good materials, the finished product leaves a lot to be desired. The script has too much filler and nothing seems to happen for a reason, it’s as if everything that happens in the film was thought of at the last-minute. The prison setting is admittedly getting pretty cliched and tired (which may be why movies like Half Baked only used it in small doses), what with all of the rape and shitty food jokes, but instead of bringing something fresh to the cliché, the film just revels in the well-worn rut of irrelevance. It’s no wonder this bombed so bad at the box office and garnered little acclaim; it truly is a bad movie, made worse by the fact that it had potential. Even the DVD reeks of being cast-off as an abomination. The special features consist of two deleted scenes and some interviews with the musicians who were in on the making of the soundtrack (Ray Parker Jr.’s a loooong way from Ghostbusters here). I can’t recall a single instance of laughing out loud, though there are a few scenes where I wore an extended smirk. Much like what came before it, the ending also feels tacked-on and last-minute (in fact, one of the two deleted scenes is an alternate ending). Avoid, avoid, avoid.

Reno 911! Miami

Reno 911 is a brilliant TV show. It took a while to grow on me, but once it did I quickly snatched up the DVDs as they became available and watched and rewatched them. The movie, on the other hand, even as an avid fan of the show, isn’t really even worth seeing once. The Reno SD find themselves the sole protectors of Miami after the police convention they weren’t allowed to participate in becomes subject to a biological attack. Alright, the premise is a stretch, but it has potential. Unfortunately, the potential is never really reached. Instead, you get what amounts to enough funny material to fill maybe one episode of the TV series and a LOT of filler and jokes that fall so flat you almost feel bad for the cast. It’s tempting to say that the cast just wanted to see how much they could fuck around with a huge budget and spent the entire movie doing just that. There are a handful of funny bits, but they’re sandwiched in between the kind of material that would have gotten the show canceled in its first season like so many of Comedy Central’s other shows. There’s not enough here to make fans of the show happy and it’s not the kind of thing a non-fan or someone coming into it having little or no knowledge of the show will appreciate either. What the fuck were they thinking?

Charles Bukowski is one of those authors about whom it is impossible not to have an opinion. His frank, to-the-point writing style is one of the most polarizing in the literary world. To some he was a dirty old man full of crude stories and sexual frustration while to others he’s a hero, a champion of the common man and a charming, if somewhat reluctant, celebrity. I for one love his work (what I’ve read of it) so I went into Crazy Love with high hopes.

Crazy Love is unique among most film adaptations of books in that it chooses to present stories from different books and different periods of the author’s life rather than pinpoint one particular book or period of time. Each of the 3 stories in Crazy Love sees the protagonist Henry Voss (Bukowski’s literary counterpart Henry Chinaski in his novels) during puberty, in his late teens and in his early 30’s. Taken separately, each of the parts are highly entertaining, well-acted and enjoyable for both longtime fans of Bukowski as well as those who have never even heard of him.Each of the three segments work well in developing the character we come to know by the end of the film, but the middle segment in particular is pure movie gold. This segment introduces a teenage Voss ripped right from the pages of “Ham on Rye,” though some liberties are taken with the story here. This is one of the best instances I’ve ever come across on film of feeling both sympathy and disgust in a character (a confusing feeling which amplifies even further by the time the credits roll). The acting, the comic relief and the teenage angst and disenchantment come together to create 30 minutes of pure magic.

All things considered, Crazy Love is an excellent film given a great DVD treatment by the fine folks at Mondo Macabro. To spoil any of the story would rob you of the joy, humor and disgust of seeing it for the first time and forming your own opinion on this excellent film.

Links: IMDB, Mondo Macabro

In lieu of something better, here are a few more quickie takes on things I watched this week:

Sex & Fury

Another entry in the bizarre 70’s Japanese exploitation subgenre of “pinky violence,” and like last week’s Girl Boss Guerilla, this one’s a winner too, only moreso. This one revolves around a lady gambler in the early 1900’s seeking retribution for father, who was slain right before her eyes when she was only a child. There’s a subplot involving British agents interested in starting another opium war, but the only real thing you’ll need to know about that is that it serves as a vehicle to introduce the other leading lady: none other than Swedish cult icon Christina Lindberg (she of “Thriller: They Call Her One-Eye” fame). Reiko Ike, who made a name for herself as the face (and body) of pinky violence delivers a great performance here, involving a swordfight in the snow (again, can you say Quentin Tarantino?) performed entirely in the buff (I doubt QT would even imagine sneaking that past the MPAA). A classic for any fan of exploitation, cult, action and it almost goes without saying: nudity.

IMDB link

War in Space

War in Space is a hard film to have an opinion about because it’s one of those films that you just know would have been a hell of a lot better had you see it in its proper context when it was still fairly new. To say it hasn’t aged well is a bit of a stretch, but this one can be pretty well summed up as “for genre enthusiasts only.” Those interested in the kaiju movies and many of the movies of the 60’s involving elaborate miniature cities being blown to hell will find a lot to like here, even if the pacing is pretty slow. The basic plot involves aliens from another galaxy seeking to invade Earth and claim it as their own. Of course Earth isn’t going to take this lying down and readies the dormant airship it had prepared for just such an occasion: Gohten. The ship itself and a few of the enemy ships have interesting designs and the battles they have are fairly interesting so long as you’re the kind of movie fan that won’t be too distracted by seeing the clearly-visible strings holding them aloft (and if you’ve made it to these parts of the movie, you very clearly have what it takes). By no means a classic, but by no means a turd either, War in Space is a decent way to waste an hour and a half assuming you’re a genre fan.

IMDB link

I Drink Your Blood

It happens a hell of a lot more than I’d like to admit. I’ll hear so many good things about a movie before going into it that I expect a fantastic experience, only to be let down by a borderline-awful flick. This was one of those times. Cult films are almost inherently a little off-kilter, but this one’s almost nonsensical to a fault. The basic gist of it involves a group of Satanic hippies invading a small town depleted to a couple dozen inhabitants by the building of a dam. But when the hippies push the citizens too far, one of the local boys decides to inject the blood of a rabid dog into their meatpies, in effect giving nearly the entire group rabies, giving them ample reason to go nuts and be more violent than ever. This sounds like it could be an interesting premise, but it isn’t. It takes too long to get rolling and the payoff isn’t that gratifying from any angle; even that of the gorehound. There have been a few comparisons between this film and George Romero’s The Crazies (which this film preceded), but if you’re only going to see one small-town-goes-nuts-and-violence-ensues cult film from the 70’s, Romero’s is the better movie. This was issued before in 2003 and was recently reissued in time for Halloween, but do yourself a favor and pick something else up instead. Some may call it a classic, but there’s hardly been a better time to point out that you can’t say “classic” without “ass.”

IMDB link

Yeah…so if I took the trouble to pay for a domain name and hosting, I should probably update more, huh? Anyway, here’s a quick rundown of what I watched this week:

Girl Boss Guerilla

Considered one of the best of the Japanese 70’s exploitation subgenre of “pinky violence” (read: boobs and violence), Girl Boss Guerilla definitely deserves its place in cult film history. The story centers around an all-girl biker gang from Tokyo on the move that ends up taking over Kyoto, until of course, the leader develops a love interest in the form of an amateur boxer and complicates things for the entire gang as their rivalry with the local Yakuza becomes personal. Very entertaining from start to finish and with some very funny and memorable moments; this one’s a keeper.

Aguirre: the Wrath of God

The second film I’ve gotten around to watching from my recently purchased Herzog/Kinski box set, Aguirre is the story of Spanish conquistadors in search of El Dorado, the fabled City of Gold. Werner Herzog is as known for his beautiful scenery as he is for his eccentricity and Aguirre is clearly one of the cornerstones in that legacy. The film itself remains interesting thanks to a good performance from lead man Klaus Kinski (this being the first of his fabled films with Herzog) and a brisk pace that leaves little time for your mind to drift. The only complaint here is that Anchor Bay dropped the ball on this DVD, delivering a 1:33:1 (fullscreen) transfer of a movie shot in 1:66:1 (a somewhat less common form of widescreen). Fullscreen is for Blockbuster customers and people that buy shit like “Big Mama’s House 2,” not anyone that actually takes film seriously.

Casino Royale

I’ve never been that big a fan of the James Bond movies, but then again I’m a little young for them and I haven’t seen any of them in years (and even then it was only a portion). So speaking not as a Bond buff but as your average theater-goer, Casino Royale is a damn solid action flick. Gone are the stuffy pretensions and over-the-top gadgets, here replaced with over-the-top stunts and a meaner, more cynical Bond than most folks are used to. It kind of loses some of its steam towards the end, and a few of the plot points are explained or referred to at such a brisk pace that it takes a minute to sink in, but overall it’s a wonderful relaunch of the series. I didn’t pay attention to who was on board directing, but thank God Quentin Tarantino didn’t get a hold of it as he originally tried to do. The last thing a relaunch of a series needs is more mindless pilfering from 70’s explotation flicks (Hey, I like Tarantino as much as the next guy, but really, is he so much original as he is gifted at combining his influences into one big eccentric jamboree?).

Darkness: the Vampire Version

This one’s been sitting in a big stack of promos for the longest time and I figured I’d finally give it a shot. Having only in the past few years gotten into cult film, I hadn’t heard of this one, though according to the boxquotes it has a storied past and cult reputation (but then again, many cult DVD studios will scrape around the absolute fringes of the internet for any great review they can find, even if it comes from some unemployed welder’s discontinued Geocities page). So after reading the plot synopsis, I’m going into this expecting some bastard child of Richard Matheson’s “I Am Legend” and George Romero’s “Dawn of the Dead,” but I’m only half-right, and not in the ways I expect. The vampires in the film don’t just suck blood, but also eat the living shit out of the people they attack, which generally isn’t the sort of territory a vampire film covers. The acting is groan-worthy in places, but having been in a few low-budget movies myself, I know that most directors are simply working with what they can get, so I’m nitpicking. The main plot involves a small town being overrun with vampires and only a handful of kids that were at a rock concert at the time are left alive to stick it out. The plot and acting are standard low-budget fare, but what really sets this one apart are the effects. During some of the more effects-laden scenes I had to remind myself that I was watching a 15-or-so year old low-budget movie (though the acting certainly helped in that regard). In particular, the last scene (which I won’t ruin) has some of the best gore effects I’ve seen on such a low budget.

Simply put, Danger: Diabolik is a treat. Think of him as an antihero master-thief cousin of James Bond or a precursor to Lupin III and you’re on the right track. Based on the Italian comic series Diabolik, the movie is perhaps the closest any movie to date has ever come to staying faithful to the comic book medium. Shots are often broken up into ‘panels’ via object in the foreground and everything is appropriately over-the-top without being overdone to the point of cheesiness.

The movie itself centers around Diabolik and his love Eva, partners in crime hellbent on getting what they want, and hopefully embarassing any law enforcement that gets in their way. Diabolik spends the duration of the film stuck between the police (who will stop at nothing to apprehend Diabolik) and a crime lord who cuts a deal with the police that will clear his name if he delivers Diabolik. Mario Bava did a wonderful job of directing, and the cast definitely delivers. John Philip Law IS Diabolik, and Marissa Mel is hotter than any Bond girl I’ve ever seen (her character in Diabolik was recently featured on The Coffin Lids‘ recent “‘Round Midnight” album). Throughout the movie, the situations Diabolik finds himself in become harder and harder to get out of, but just like Bond, you know he’ll prevail; it’s only a matter of how.

The DVD extras are actually somewhat entertaining for a 30+ year old movie based on a comic. The Beastie Boys “Body Movin’” video appears here, as it makes use of footage from the film, as well as giving the Beastie Boys ample opportunity to recreate some of the more action-packed scenes. Also included are two original trailers and a fairly-interesting ‘from comic to film’ short documentary.

Highly Recommended.

Tetsuo: The Iron Man is one of those movies that will never have a mainstream following simply because it doesn’t have a coherent plot (nor a point, some might say). If you’ve seen David Lynch’s Eraserhead or David Cronenberg’s Videodrome and didn’t care much for either, well, this one isn’t going to do a whole lot for you either. Taking place in a strange industrial setting not too far removed from the setting of Eraserhead, Tetsuo is quite the odd piece of work, though it’s definitely noteworthy for a directorial debut (I almost said “feature-length,” but at it’s hour runtime, it falls just a bit short).

The very basic storyline revolves around the main character (credited as simply “Salaryman”) hitting a pedestrian who happens to be a metal fetishist, whatever that is. Perhaps as ‘punishment’ for his involvement in the hit & run accident, Salaryman begins to grow metal parts all over his body. I won’t spoil the movie for anyone interested in seeing it, but you’ve basically already got the gist of the plotline, so if you’re expecting any major twists and turns beyond what you’ve already read then you’re not in for a whole lot. As a whole, I enjoyed the film and its unique style. There are lots of sped-up shots and some great stop-motion animation, not to mention the soundtrack (a solid mixture of experimental and industrial music).

Unless you absolutely love Lynch/Cronenberg, rent it first, but if you already enjoy either or both, it would be a no-brainer for your collection.

*While I mentioned above that it seems to be influenced by Lynch and Cronenberg’s work, it’s interesting to note that the movie itself seems to have inspired another film: Takashi Miike’s Full Metal Yakuza (which is a truly awful, awful movie).

Bukowski, like peers Hunter S. Thompson and William S. Burroughs, is one of those authors whose legend precedes him. Many, in fact, seem to love or hate him based on the myths alone. I’m not all that well-versed in Bukowski, having only read “Post Office” and “Ham on Rye” in addition to some of his poetry, but it’s safe to say that there’s much more to the man than the myth. “Bukowski: Born Into This,” like any good documentary, is a great film whether or not you’re interested in the subject matter. Piecing together lots of footage and interviews with Bukowski as well as interviews with contemporaries and fans (the likes of which include Tom Waits, U2’s resident ego Bono and Sean Penn) the documentary provides a varied and always interesting picture of the man that took back literature and poetry from the social elite to where it’s always the most heartfelt and interesting: from the point of view of the everyman. The film shows through these interviews and footage of the man himself that Bukowski is exactly what John Lennon always pretended to be: a genuine working-class hero.

Highly recommended.