Rambo: First Blood Part II (imdb)
As far as sequels go in action franchises, Rambo II (as I’ll refer to it for clarity’s sake) is a pretty damn good one. One of the greatest strengths of the First Blood/Rambo series, and all great action movies in general, is that they don’t fuck around with pacing by dragging out unnecessary subplots, love interests, or melodrama. There’s a split-second where you think a romance is about to bud, but a second later it’s cut down in a hail of bullets, serving as a fuel to John Rambo’s raging inferno of vengeance. The jungle setting isn’t too far removed from the backwoods in First Blood, but the POW rescue story is sufficient enough for an action film, and as always in this series, the action scenes and over the top (sorry, second time I’ve made that joke) violence is just as satisfying. You’ve gotta love Rambo’s (Rambow’s?) explosive arrows, especially the overkill of shooting one at a single enemy. Overall an enjoyable action film that doesn’t overstay its welcome.
Rambo III (imdb)
Finally dropping the First Blood title altogether, the third film is where the series starts to sag a little, but remains an above-average action flick that is very much a product of its time and a bit in debt to its peers. The presence of the kid really didn’t serve a purpose other than justifying Trautman’s last line about he and Rambo softening up a bit, and reminded me a bit of Short Round from the Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. The storyline is probably a tad more interesting in retrospect than it may have been at the time, what with America’s present tumultuous relationship with Afghanistan and the Middle East in general. As a product of the Cold War, the Soviets are cartoonish, and there are off-hand and nonsensical allusions to Lenin (a picture in the bunker) and Rasputin (a random order barked by the Soviet commander). Honestly, I’m a tad surprised they didn’t squeeze a vodka joke in there somewhere. The film is certainly action-packed, but the action sequences don’t pack quite the punch they did in the slower-paced original or the amped-up sequel, leaving you a bit detached from the proceedings a lot of the time. It’s sort of funny to see that the film was dedicated to the “gallant” people of Afghanistan right before the credits rolled, which seems more like giving the Russians the finger than commending the Afghans, more of a ‘the enemy of my enemy is my friend’ sentiment than genuine admiration.
The Willies (imdb)
I first saw The Willies in my early teenage years during a lazy summer filled with horror movies thanks to the “5-5-5” deal (5 movies, 5 days, 5 dollars) at a local video store within walking distance from a friend’s house. The movie is essentially Tales From the Crypt for kids, but it has a darker vibe than I can remember either Are You Afraid of the Dark? or Goosebumps ever having. The acting is largely terrible, but to expect anything else from this kind of movie is pretty foolish. Those of us who grew up in the late 80s/early 90s will recognize a few faces, particular Sean “Rudy” Astin and Michael “Donkeylips” Bower, the former playing one of the tellers of the tales and the latter playing a real asshole in the last segment. The movie starts off with a few short filler stories before the title comes up and the real stories get under way. The first is the tale of a monster in the guise of a school janitor who eats bullies and other shitty kids, as well as the occasional “sourpuss” teacher. The latter tale takes up the majority of the runtime and is really pretty damn weird for kids entertainment. Gordy Belcher is a fat, friendless fuck who remains so due entirely to his own weird obsessions and behavior. An avid collector of flies who catches them and places them in relatively elaborate dioramas (flyoramas?) when he’s not mooching super-fertilizer from the local nutcase farmer or tricking other kids into eating fly-filled cookies, Gordy’s perhaps the most unsympathetic main character I can remember in entertainment made for kids, a fact that adds tremendously to the film’s eccentricity. The Willies is essentially a pure nostalgia watch that will probably only be of interest otherwise if you’re incredibly bored. There’s a short Growing Pains clip featuring Kirk Cameron in the Gordy Belcher segment that was made especially for the movie, and while this helps to further date the movie, it’s a hell of a lot more entertaining than Kirk’s last decade or so spent attempting to discredit evolution by citing how well a banana fits in the human hand.
Cocaine Cowboys (imdb)
I’ve heard nothing but raves about this one, but given the recent rash of “thugumentaries” on the market, and the questionable quality and motives of such entertainment, I was hesitant to even consider this one. Now that I’ve watched it, I’ll have to admit that it’s a pretty entertaining doc that capably captures a brief but extravagant and violent moment in time. That said, I wasn’t very impressed with how it flows. The first hour of the film is largely comprised of interviews with cocaine smugglers Jon Roberts and Mickey Munday, who made the most of a new and untapped market. This part is fascinating, as it details their operations, the technology used, and some amusing anecdotes about their experiences during a now-legendary era. After the first hour, the focus shifts to the so-called Godmother Griselda Blanco, a kingpin-esque woman known for her cruel streak and having a hand in seemingly all of the cocaine operations at the time. Jon and Mickey are still interviewed when the focus shifts, but the bulk of the interviews at this point are supplied by Rivi, an enforcer for Griselda. I guess my main bitch is that it feels like two movies worth of material, or possibly even a miniseries. It’s no surprise then, that the sequel (which I’ve mostly heard to be pretty crappy) focuses mostly on Griselda. Credit has to be given for hiring Jan Hammer to provide the score, and while the music here isn’t as memorable as the tracks he produced for for Miami Vice, it’s at the very least a well-meaning wink and nod to the knowing audience.
Puzzlehead (imdb)
A low-budget, dystopian take on the Frankenstein story with a twist, Puzzlehead isn’t a great movie, but given a soft spot for the genre, it’s a pretty good one. When Walter builds a robotic humanoid based on maps of his own brain, he has no idea that jealousy over a crush-turned-obsession will soon pit the two against each other. Walter’s main use for Puzzlehead is running errands and doing chores, but when Puzzlehead defends a sheepish grocery clerk when a customer attempts to rob her, Walter begins to covet the affection she feels for Puzzlehead as a result. The film is a little slow in parts, and there are a few quiet scenes that could have benefited from a more prominent score, but it remains a good film despite these nitpicks. I’m always impressed when a movie features a very small cast and still manages to stay interesting, and Puzzlehead is mostly a success as far as that goes, although both Walter and Julia’s background could have been fleshed out a bit more. If you’ve got the patience and an appreciation for true independent film, Puzzlehead is worth your time.
